Nihilist of the Day: Barack Obama

While this is obviously redundant and cliched, I'm awarding Nihilist of the Day to none other than Barack Hussein Caliphate Stalin Obama, for helping push America closer to the brink of ruin by bringing his unabashed nihilist style to the Whitehouse.  But rather than focus on what he's doing right, I'll start by highlighting a few items this article cites regarding the previous resident of the Whitehouse.

Bush required his staff to wear a coat and tie at all times while in the Oval Office.

While being chewed out for fifteen minutes one weekend, Dan Bartlett was forced to remain outside the Oval Office doorway, as he wasn't dressed appropriately to be chewed out inside.

When Bush wanted to talk to a staff member, he always summoned them to his office.

Meetings with Bush started and ended on time.

Bush once had Secretary of State Colin Powell locked out of a cabinet meeting because he showed up late.  You may read that sentence again, if you like.

Bush did not engage legislators in details.

Bush did not receive daily briefings on Sundays.

Bush did not receive daily economic briefings.

Bush changed the Oval Office decor upon arrival.

Bush likes decorative plates in the workplace.

And it's quite obvious what all these style choices would lead to: An effective leader who gets things does and succeeds at furthering the interests of humanity, kindness, and freedom.  In other words, everything us liberal nihilists hate.  Something had to be done.

Agent of Change

And so it comes as great relief now that a postmodern denialist like Barack Obama is in the Whitehouse.  Because he's reversing all of these ingredients for success and bringing a relaxed "Aloha Zen" quality to Washington.  And by doing so, he brings the likelihood of imminent attack upon us at every moment, and I for one welcome our Islamonazi overlords.  Salaam!

For example, Obama's been seen in the Oval Office without his jacket on.  He permits staff members to dress "business casual" on weekends.  When he wants to see a staff member, he visits them.  And by relaxing these objectivist standards of etiquette, Obama is undermining the backbone of American and giving ample opportunity for America's enemies to invade us and rape our children.  Bush knew this, which is why he opposed this sort of laxness.  These weren't arbitrary dictates from an anal retentive douchebag who mistook his control freak tendencies for leadership.  He knew what he was doing.  This was the plan.

Take his meetings, for example.  Bush knew that if his meetings didn't start and end on time, the terrorists would gain the upperhand by not knowing where he was at any given time. Besides, anyone with Bush's rigid basis in reality has to set some limits on when people can tell him things.  Imagine if someone told him about Bin Laden's location during his time alloted to talking about literature.  We could have ended up with Bin Laden's book on the NY Times best seller list rather than with his head on a platter.  Think about it.

Meeting Until the End

Obama, on the other hand, has destroyed that completely and actually continues meeting until they're done talking.  Why, that'd let Bin Laden get away completely!  So he's busy trying to blackmail the righteous conservatives in Congress into obeying his commands, while Osama mocks the victims of 9/11 by continuing to exist.  The idea of this alone is enough to make the beginnings of a smile form on my lips.  Excuse me while I view some pornography, which will surely bring great sadness to my immortal soul.

There, that's much better.  Anyway, you get the idea.  Bush was a strong, stoic leader who brought firm discipline to the nation's business, while Obama is a Hawaiian slacker who lacks the moral fortitude to even demand that his staff dress uncomfortably on weekends.  And did I mention that he likes it warm in the Oval Office.  Like greenhouse warm?  Huh, can you think of another place that's warm?  That's right.  He's getting ready for his eternity in Hell, just as we all are.  And I don't know about y'all, but that really warms my heart.  After all, I'll get to spend eternity with Obama!!

And so yeah, Obama's the Nihilist of the Day, Week, Month, and Year.  He's the man and we all worship him almost as much as we worship Baal.  Ahh, who am I kidding?  More than Baal.  There, I said it.  I worship Obama more than Baal himself.  Now excuse me while I dampen my spirits by viewing more pornography.  I suggest you do the same.