Nihilist Agency of the Week: The Environmental Protection Agency

Guest Post by Doctor Biobrain

Ok, naming the EPA as Nihilist Agency of the Week seems a bit unfair, seeing as how its entire purpose is nihilistic to its very core.  I mean, the EPA's unstated mission statement is to destroy the American economy by pretending that humans can harm God's second greatest creation, Mother Earth.  So what could the EPA really do to go beyond that to earn this great honor?

Here's how (emphasis added):

President Barack Obama's climate czar said Sunday the Environmental Protection Agency would soon issue a rule on regulation of carbon dioxide, finding that it represents a danger to the public
....
Officially recognizing that carbon dioxide is a danger to the public sets would trigger regulation of the greenhouse gas emissions from coal-fired power plants, refineries, chemical plants, cement firms, vehicles and any other emitting sectors across the economy.

And you see where this is going, right?  Not only will this ruling shutdown every source of energy in our country, there's one other big emitter of carbon dioxide they omitted.  That's right: Human Beings.  The EPA under Obama has now taken the first step to outlaw breathing by all Americans.  Oh, well they can breathe; they just can't exhale.

And in case you're not up on your modern biology, exhaling carbon dioxide is generally considered a necessary part of the human lifesystem.  All this, under the guise of protecting people from a threat that never existed in the first place.  Does it get any more Orwellian than that?  I think not.

Nature as Danger

And the whole thing is a farce.  I mean, how could humans possibly exhale poison?  As if God could have made such a huge blunder when he created us.  And plants breathe the shit, for christ's sake.  And as we all know, anything that's part of nature must be healthy and good.  Otherwise, nature wouldn't be so natural.  God may be a lot of things, but he's not an idiot.

And yet Obama can do this kind of thing and our postmodern propaganda machines like the Wall Street Journal post it uncritically to the masses.  Not a rebuttal in sight.  Obama is outlawing human existence, yet a major newspaper passes it on to us like it's just standard procedure; even going as far as to pretend that the Supreme Court forced this on us.  What a joke!

And none of this could be possible without the EPA.  Sure, it's their job to screw with the economy and damage American businesses with arcane regulations solely designed to force them out of business while giving unnecessary jobs to otherwise unemployable liberals.  But this new ruling: Simply genius.  That's the only way to put it.  And within a few months, we will not only have outlawed every source of energy humanity has ever seen; we'll have outlawed humanity itself.  

And for that, the EPA is deserving of our highest honor: Nihilist Agency of the Week.  I hope to see them all in Hell by the end of Spring, to congratulate them personally for a job well done.