Today's choice for Nihilist of the Day
is a complete no-brainer. It's you know who's birthday, so what else could we do but name Supreme Commander Kim Jong-Il as Nihilist of the Day. Honestly, I'm quite embarrassed that this is the highest honor I can bestow upon Chairman Kim, so let me just say that this guy is my absolute favorite nihilist we've honored yet; yeah, even more so than Jong-Il's American equivalent, President Barack Obama. Even had he not been a nihilist, Great Leader would be a true inspiration to us all, and so his postmodern rejectionism only serves to make him that much more awe-inducing.
While other great nihilist leaders like Saddam Hussein, Fidel Castro, and Jacques Chirac were felled by our dastardly bold former president (who shall remain nameless), Kim Jong-Il still stands as the strongest pillar in our beloved Axis of Evil. Not only has he been able to withstand the full rhetorical fury of our neo-conservative arch-enemies, he spit right back at them by openly building nukes. That takes chutzpah, people. And this awesome leader has got it in spades. Hell, he's such a nihilist that we apparently aren't even sure what year he was born. Take that, stupid factanistas!
And as a sign of ultimate respect for Great Leader, I'll quote from the last paragraph of his official biography (pdf):
The cause of the Korean revolution advancing vigorously along the road of Juche under the leadership of Comrade Kim Jong Il, General Secretary of the Workers' Party of Korea, will achieve ultimate victory without fail in any storms and adversity and Korea will shine brilliantly as the motherland of Juche, where it's 70 million fellowmen enjoy genuine freedom and prosperity on the reunified land.So let's all get stupid drunk on our grain alcohol tonight to celebrate yet another year of life for the greatest hero in world history. Kim Jong-Il doesn't just have the best cult of personality in the world, he also has our black hearts. Best wishes, Comrade Kim! Your greatness only makes me loath myself more, and for that, I thank you.



3 comments:
Was it former nameless leader who took out the Cuban hero of the people or the hands of time? A tragedy either way.
Happy Birthday Great Leader Kim. Please set off a few nukes to let the neighbors know you are still a force for crazy to be reckoned with.
And let's not forget that Kim Jong Il is the greatest golfer in the history of the world. He had 11 holes in 1 the very first time he played golf, and set a world record for the lowest 18-hole score in history. Take that, Tiger!
Kim is also a great peacemaker. You notice that none of the vitriol that permeated our proud site has returned since you proclaimed the great leader Nihilist of the Day.
Thank you Doctor, and homage to you Great Nihilist and Peacemaker; Kim Jong Il.
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