Report from Obama Youth Rally & Nihilist Hate Expo

Guest Post by Doctor Biobrain

Wow.  I just got back from the secret Obama Youth Rally & Nihilist Hate Expo and let me tell you, it was a-mazing.  Truly amazing.  Honestly, I haven't seen that many feverish hate-filled zealots since the last time Obama was in town.  And the crowds are really digging the freedom Obama now has in displaying his true colors since he became president, as seen in this photo I took of his big entrance.

It was three days of anger, fear, and loathing, which struck a perfect balance between hedonistic hubris and divisive anti-everythingness.  And the Obama Youth choir was great.  Without being there, you really can't appreciate the feeling you get when you see twenty thousand rabid children's faces, each having been surgically altered to have Barack Obama's exact facial characteristics and mannerisms.  Or the wonderment at knowing that each one of their voices is an exact replica of Obama's childhood voice; which, btw, sounds exactly like the voice of God's favorite angel.

And the song choices were truly inspirational.  Not only did they perform the classics like Horst Wessel Lied (mp3) and the original version of Gimn Sovetskogo Soyuza (mp3), but also new anthems, like Obama the Beautiful, This Land is Obama's Land, and finishing off with a heart-felt rendition of The Star Spangled Barack.  It brought tears of disgust to my eyes, even before I spritzed myself with pepperspray.

There were also many great rejectionist guest speakers, from partisan anti-military traitors like Cindy Sheehan and Pat Tillman's bitter brother, to closet nihilists like George Will, who explained how he's been secretly undermining America from the inside.  There were also several pre-taped messages wishing us all doom from such postmodern luminaries as Hugo Chavez and John Hinkley Jr.  And there was even a message from the prophet himself, Osama Bin Laden, who heaped high praise on Obama for his success in undermining the Great Satan in only three weeks as president.  Obama got huge cheers by announcing that all three of them will be honored guests in Washington by next year's expo.

And by the end, when we all formed into our pagan drum circles and chanted "Death to America!  Death to America!" while sodomizing effigies of the Founding Fathers, I really got the feeling like it might happen this time.  We really might just kill America.  And I became so overwhelmed with the sheer joy that was welling up inside me that I had Michael Moore slam my fingers in a door, and he nodded approvingly as he had me do the same for him.  

It's that sort of brotherly hate that makes me truly loath myself like a real nihilist.  I wish you could have been there.  Hope to see you in D.C. next year.  And don't forget the rectal cream!!