Gay Marriage Strikes Again

Guest Post by Doctor Biobrain

Pro-denial rejectionist nihilists like to pretend that the reason we insist upon forcing everyone to rejoice in gay marriage is because we support equal rights for consensual adults. But as we all know, this is a load of turd and it's really all about destroying marriage, families, and humanity. And it looks like our anti-marriage agenda has reaped serious benefits yet again; this time, in Saudi Arabia.

That's right, our fellow nihilist life-haters in the Motherland have yet again undermined God's Plan by allowing an eight-year-old girl to divorce her fifty-year-old husband. While a previous court had ruled that the girl's mother didn't have legal standing to file a divorce and said the girl had to wait until puberty to file one, that's not enough to stop a good nihilist. And sure enough, her shyster attorney did his best subjectivist finagling and was able to win an out-of-court settlement to get the divorce after all.

And this is a clear blow against the pro-marriage movement. Marriage in Saudi Arabia has traditionally been between a man and a woman's father, who had the right to give his daughter to any damn husband he wanted to. And conservative traditionalists understand the importance of sticking with traditions, even if they make no sense and are offensive to modern sensibilities. But this is the age of moral relativity and that means that all traditions must go!

And that's not to mention the attack on her poor father's rights as a parent. Here he is, raising his daughter according to his beliefs and traditions, and an activist judicial system comes along and completely undermines his authority. How humiliating! And that's exactly how we want these patriarchal pro-family males to feel. No longer are men the Kings of the Castle. They can try to teach their sons to play football and force their prepubescent daughters to marry gross old dudes, but post-modernism will just come along and pull that traditionalist rug right out from under them. I'm sure this guy feels like a real douchebag now that his daughter is single again.

And now that we've struck yet another blow against traditional marriage, it can't be too much longer until humanity collapses into a giant heap of gay sex and humps itself to death. And I, for one, can't wait to be on the bottom of that. Thank you, Saudi Arabia. By showing that even an ancient culture such as yours can bend to the pressures of post-modern nihilism and allow underage girls to have the same right to divorce as the rest of us, you serve as a shining example to us all.