Nihilist Action Alert: Impending Arrival of BlackState

Guest Post by Doctor Biobrain

Fellow nihilists, doomsday has arrived, and a lot earlier than expected. You guessed it: Conservatives have finally learned how to talk to black people. And now it's only a matter of days until every single black person in America finally understands how we've subjugated them with lies and trinkets in order to keep them as our permanent underclass.

And after that, it's all over for the Democratic nihilist agenda. After all, the only way we could ever take control of the country was by using the black vote to overcome real Americans, in order to overstate our popularity and make some of our positions appear a bit more popular overall than they actually are. And once they figure out how we've been enslaving them all these years, they are going to be pissed. And we all know how scary American Blacks can be when they get angry. Yikes!

Tough Love: Green Beans and Spinach

And where else could these new found communication skillz emanate from than the manly men patriots at RedState, with their post entitled Dear Black Americans: Democrats Deliberately Hold your Children Down. And that pretty much says it all, doesn't it? We're soooooo screwed!

And the whole thing is totally spot-on. It's obvious that we've got a traitor in our midst who must have given them a copy of our American Blacks playbook, How to Intentionally Crush the Hopes and Dreams of the Next Generation of American Blacks for Fun and Profit. Robert Byrd had warned of the dire consequences of letting his plan fall into the wrong hands when he handed it out at the Klan meetings all those years ago, and now it looks like the nightmare he described is finally upon us.

Because yes, we were pretending to be their best friends while working behind their backs, laughing at them, mocking their hardships, always secure in the knowledge that they needed us too much to leave us. That happens all the time. And we always lie to them, and indulge them, and it's a well-known election day tradition for us to give candy and bennies to American Blacks in exchange for their loyalty. And we tell them that if they want nice cars, they should whine, and stay stupid and lazy. That's part of Al Sharpton's daily message to his people.

And why else would American Blacks be so whiny, stupid, lazy, and hopped up on bennies if Democrats weren't to blame for it? RedState totally nailed us here. Gee, now how are we going to woo those black votes? It looks like American Blacks are growing up and gaining wisdom earlier than expected, thanks to those meddling jerks at RedState.

Action Alert Time

And so I'm putting out this Nihilist Action Alert so you minions can form together and harass these patriots before they can spread their message of tough love any further. We need to mock these people! Derision and scorn is the strongest of weapons, so heap it upon them with all you've got. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, posting as "Roy Edroso" got the ball rolling at Alicublog with a fact-free nihilist-fest that should help knock them back a few steps, but more is needed. Much more.

Look, people. The future of our very lives is at stake here. Trust me, as soon as Obama finds out that we've been using him this whole time while laughing at him behind his back, he's going to be pissed-off like nobody's business (yes, in hindsight, letting a Black be president was a big, big mistake). And then he's going to open the Super-Secret Democrat's Hate Black People Vault in Washington D.C., and after that, all hell will break loose! Our analysts in the Klan predict that the black uprising will execute 65% of all white Democrats within three hours of this information being released. By the end of the 24-hour news cycle, it's predicted that a full 93% of us will be dead. Yes, American Blacks are that good at killing. And you can bet that the patriotic conservatives that comprise our military and police forces aren't going to lift a finger to stop them.

And so let's see some real pushback here, people. Hardcore. I want full background checks of everyone at RedState. By the time we're done, I want to know where they shop, who they pal around with, what bills they owe, and how often they scratch their manly testicles. I want their grandmother's photoshopped faces plastered on the cover of the NY Times in sexy bikinis, I want to see media nihilists like Chris Matthews and Alan Colmes smearing these dudes as queerball homosexuals with every breath, and I want to see every man, woman, and child in America as distrustful of RedState as they'd be to Satan himself. Particularly the American Blacks. We cannot allow them to ever access RedState and learn what true freedom-lovers Republicans really are.

I know it won't be easy to take-on such bold and courageous men like the brave fellows at RedState, but it must be done. We don't have time to implement the three-year Sink RedState strategy we've been developing since their inception. This must be done NOW. So get on it, my fellow nihilists, and we might just yet live to see another day. And with any luck, we'll be laughing about this a few decades from now, when yet another generation of American Blacks is deliberately kept under our bootheels, thanks to our lies, bennies, and hatred of green beans.