VICTORIA'S BEEN FOUND!!! VICTORIA'S BEEN FOUND!!!

Guest Post by Doctor Biobrain

Congratulations, fellow nihilists! We caught her!! The rogue entertainer Victoria Jackson has been found, subdued, and captured, and is currently being interrogated at Nihilist Headquarters here in Brussels. Five minute blocks will be auctioned off starting at midnight, so make sure to bring plenty of Obamabucks.

And of course, the video of Barack's personal interrogation with Ms. Jackson conducted earlier tonight in the Lincoln Bedroom will go on sale at that time for 250 Obamabucks, with every 50 Obamas going directly to The One himself. Your bank accounts have properly been debited, so you must be honored. Excerpts will also be released of a compliation DVD of Obama's personal "interviews" with Katie Couric, Ann Coulter, Nancy Pelosi, Sarah Palin, and the Ghost of Ayn Rand. It's pretty exciting stuff, I assure you. And again, your bank accounts have properly been debited. You're welcome.

Special "edited" versions will be released to Obamaschools nationwide, which I hear all the Obamabrats are pretty excited about. These videos will feature fuzzy squares to blur out the naughty parts, so the kids will just have to guess at what they're looking at. But of course, the full version will also be on those DVD's, if the children prefer to see that one instead. This is in accordance with Nihilist Educational Principle #293, which states that all children over the age of one shall be allowed to do whatever the stronger children tell them to do. Everyone is equal, and the smallest children are often given knives. Ok, well, that last part about the knives really didn't turn out to be such a great idea, but until opponents of this addendum can overcome the Supramajority requirement to amend the Final Book of Principles, Secretary of Education Obama says his hands are tied.

As for capturing Victoria, everyone here is pretty psyched about the whole thing, as we're pretty sure she was about to convince three nuns in Ohio that they had voted for an infant murderer last November. They had just made a request to see his nonexistent birth certificate, so it looks like we got there just in time. And so the re-education of Victoria Jackson is going as expected, and we expect a full recovery by next Tuesday.

As usual, we'll be testing her out on Hollywood Squares, to make sure she's fit for society again (we believe a six week stint should be sufficient). After that, we're casting her in the role of Cat Woman's Mother, who seduces Bruce Wayne, while he's dating her daughter. Plus, Robin turns out to be gay, and he has a three-way with all of them, though none of them knew it at the time. There will also be violence of some sort. It promises to be very good. And again, your bank accounts have properly been debited. Guten tag!