Nihilist Action Alert: Obama's True Birth Exposed

Special Guest Post by Doctor Biobrain

This is it, guys. The moment we've all been dreading has finally arrived. That's right, somehow, unbeknownst to our global spy network and Obama Youth Listening Schools, those damn birthers found their holy grail and they took it with them to their 9/12 Tea Party Protest.

Behold, in all it's glory: The One's true birth certificate!


Please note the signs of authenticity, like the cheap Kenyan flag, as well as the plain white posterboard backdrop, lending it all the authority of an elementary school science fair project. Even the asymmetrical design is undeniable proof that this is the real deal. And note the size of that footprint; entirely consistent with the replica size ten birth shoes we all store in our Obama tote lockers.

And just to be sure, here's a super close-up of the flag, magnified one thousand times:

There can be no doubt about it. That is definitely Obama's birth certificate. The kerning says it all.

And sure, we've already got a few nihilist agents at that Flickr site trying to put the kaboosh on that thing, but what's the point? They've got it and they know they've got it. Why else would they have taken it with them to DC? We're just fooling ourselves if we think the cat might possibly get back into this bag. I understand McCain and Palin are already on their way to Washington as we speak, while Justice Roberts prepares for the real swearing-in ceremony. This time, with feeling.

And so now it's time for Plan B. That's right, nuclear annihilation. We need to blow this puppy up while we still got our hands on the button. So grab your special supply of nuke rations and head down into the shelter you were told to build under your house last year. It's going to be a looooooooong winter.