Donald Douglas Named "Dear Leader" of North Korea

After interviews with North Korea's most powerful generals, it was decided that deceased dear leader, Kim Jung Il's boy, Kim Jung Un, wasn't sufficiently closed minded and shitheaded enough to be the next Dear Leader. The job has been offered to the only man capable of living up to the level of dictatorial shitheadedness that Kim Jung Il achieved. That man according to North Korean officials is Professor Donald Douglas.


"We wanted a man who was easily offended. Believed he was always correct even when faced with irrefutable evidence that he is wrong. And single mindedly capable of making up shit to persecute those who piss him off by exposing his shitheadedness as Donald persecutes Repsac" according to sources who said they knew what was going on in North Korea.


As Donald Douglas' appointed Minister of Hate, I have authorized the official American Nihilist Joy Brigade to march in Donald's inaugural parade starting at Long Beach Community College and proceeding across the Douglas/Jung Il bridge spanning the Pacific to Pyongyang.


Bertha and Donetta will be riding with Professor Douglas in the official North Korean presidential 1965 Ford Galaxy.


Donald Douglas. Dear Leader! hail to the chief!